I decided to quit

I decided to quit smoking. I started when I was teenager just smoking seldom, like only when I was drinking. Currently I've been smoking only 1-2 cigarettes per day, but it is still too much. There's no benefits in smoking. For me smoking is more like a habit, it's like a permission to take a little break. Now I decided that I can have healthier breaks.

Do you have any tips or tricks? How did you get rid of smoking?

Weightcrisis

I just realized how fat I've become: My BMI is currently 25! Ugh, I don't want to tell any other numbers, because I find BMI informative enough. I wish I was like, umm, BMI 20 maybe.

I need to start exercising again. And eat less sugar.

Social introvert

I'm an introvert. It's not a secret, but I don't know if it's as obvious as I've used to think. What changed my thinking was that I realized I'm also a social person. I love being with and around people and I love meeting them and talking and just spending time, you know. That might not seem very introvert, right?

But that's quite a rough combination. This week I've met so much other people and today I noticed how much it takes energy from me. I'm so not ready for going to school tomorrow already. I need a day off. Which I actually already decided to give myself, at least a part day off: I'm not going to the first lesson tomorrow. That's very big thing for me, because among the other things: I'm perfectionist and I must not fail and I mustn't be absent.

How I noticed I'm tired? Well, I'm tired, but not I need sleep-tired. I kind of want to cry, but at the same time I don't feel like crying. I'm not sad, I'm just tired. I feel very vulnerable.

My period may also boost this feeling. I know that's not the main reason because my period started two days ago and two days ago I still got the energy to get to my appointments and do some project and stuff. But now I got tired.

I'm going to have a cigarette now. Then I'll update my CV.

New start

I deleted all my earlier posts because they were so old and I didn't want them included in here. And I got this clearer idea of this blog's theme so I began from the beginning. Theme is my anxiety disorder.

Also: I started to write in English, which isn't my first or not even my second language. I hope I'll be understood. At least by the language, not the content. And that's fine, I don't understand myself either. Besides I don't really care, because this blog is for me. I write this because I want to handle my thoughts and past.

If someone likes that I share these things, it's just a plus. If someone can relate and maybe finds my texts helpful, that's great! But still, I'm not going to write because I need to and I think I won't edit my posts. Only typos, but I'll let the grammar be how it was when published, because then I'll see if my skills have improved.